Chivalrous Shark
The most chivalrous fish of the ocean
To the ladies forbearing and mild
Though its record be dark, it's the man-eating shark
Who will eat neither woman nor child
He'll dine upon seamen and skippers
And tourists his hunger assuage
And a fresh cabin boy will inspire him with joy
If he's past the maturity age
A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher
He'll gobble them any fine day
But the ladies, god bless them, he'll only address them
Politely, and then go on his way
I can readily cite you an instance
Where a lovely young lady of breeding
Who was tender and sweet and delicious to eat
Fell into the bay with a scream
She struggled and flounced in the water
And signaled in vain for her bark
And she'd surely been drowned if she hadn't been found
By a chilvarous man-eating shark
He bowed in a manner most polished
Thus soothing her impulses wild
"Don't be frightened" he said "I've been properly bred
And will eat neither woman or child"
So he proffered his fin and she took it
Such a gallantry none can dispute
And the passengers cheered as the vessel they neared
And a broadside was fired in salute
And they soon stood alongside that vessel
Where a life-saving dingy was lowered
With the pick of the crew and her relatives too
And the mate and the skipper aboard
So they got her aboard in a jiffy
While the shark stood attention the while
Then raised on his flipper and ate up the skipper
And went on his way with a smile
This shows that the prince of the ocean
To the ladies forbearing and mild
Though its record be dark it's the man-eating shark
Who will eat neither woman nor child