The Most Timely (And Relieving) Ending
Also Known As "The Cyclops Song"
I've got a story I want to tell
About a warrior who was drunk
With fighting abound and brutal slayings!
On a ship that almost got sunk
When the mighty boat, the breaker of storms
Harbored in East Freeport
Our warrior boarded, not expecting to be
Tried in the Tribunal's court!
But when said boat hit the Ocean of Tears
Up spoke a young caster on board
"D00D I WONDER IF I CAN CAST OFF THE BOAT"
And said warrior replied "Oh lord"
Said caster then gallantly waved his arms
And sent forth a shimmering spark!
And then the deck lurched and turned about
While the sky grew very dark
A menacing cyclops jumped onto the deck
And lunged for said caster!
But all he did was shout out "HELP PLZ"
And fell, not seeing any danger.
Now back to our warrior who was getting quite drunk
Down in the galley of the ship
Said cyclops got stuck in the downward ramp
And made his barstool tip!
So our warrior fell over, spilling his ale
And his mood turned quite sour
And he yelled to the cyclops, "You ruined your own alcohol...
...You won't...ruin...ours!"
Well this made the cyclops very displeased
And he lashed out at the passengers!
Many on the deck died that day
With corpses falling underwater
Our warrior bravely unsheathed his sword
And prepared himself for battle
He plunged his blade deep into the monster
Forcing the hull to rattle!
The monster howled out to Prexus in pain
As our warrior pulled back his blade
He readied himself for another deadly blow -
- Today was his day to save!
But the monster fought back, crushing the warrior
Spilling his blood on the deck
But he held his head high and sword at the ready
He had to get the monster in check!
For eighteen minutes, the battle raged on
Sending cyclops and warrior into fatigue
But you should be surprised, oh astute listener
That they were fighting in the same league!
But then, very suddenly, the battle was over
Either it was luck or fate
How did the warrior survive, you ask?
A simple message...
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